Good afternoon subs
I have been having a great time lately with sessions. They’re so addictive. My last session was 3 hours long and I left on the most magnificent high. I really enjoy 1-2-1 sessions with My trusted subs.
I’m aware that I haven’t posted much content in the recent months since I returned to the dungeon. First reason is that I’ve been very busy. The second is well… I kinda got lazy! Yep! Lazy beyond anything I’ve ever seen.
It all started when I worked at my ‘9-5 grind from hell’ last year. As the classic overachiever and determined driven woman that I am, I pushed hard in my job. I was a force to be reckoned with and that upset the apple cart. My drive was showing the others up for how lazy they were and how slow things were moving. The other contractors were feeling the frustration with how lazy and slow the others were too. That’s why we are contractors. We are paid to work hard and produce a lot of good work by the hour. So this role as a driven woman was perfect for Me initially. But not for the company. The contractors and Myself were effectively showing them all up. They couldn’t keep up with us. So we decided to slow down. So slow that we felt like imposters for being there earning so much money working at such a slow pace.
This sounds great from the outside, but from inside position of being paid so much and doing so little, it’s actually quite damaging. Myself and the other contractors found ourselves feeling uncomfortable with this slow pace and high salary. We all started to become lazy and the money just rolled in as long as we turned up. There were some days where I spent the whole day literally browsing the internet and reading kindle books. I was absolutely bored out of My mind! I lost all motivation, drive and inspiration to do anything. I started to coast along. I got temporarily fat from comfort eating and turned my frustration at not having my skills utilised inwards as some kind of failure on My part. I was allowing myself to sit there and just stagnate for the sake of money. I didn’t want to stand up and say ‘hey I’ve no work to do, I’m bored, you’re paying Me lots of money to do nothing, you guys are so fcking slow!!!!!!!!’ They’d have kicked Me out the door pronto only to call Me back again when they needed Me. So I kept quiet and in rolled the money.
After a couple of months of this I became so bone idol and unmotivated that I’m surprised I even got out of bed to go into this office each day. The true Me who is driven and full of self discipline went underground, leaving an entitled work shy woman in its place. It’s amazing how we take things for granted. I hit a bit of a depression/fog after I left. I wasn’t sure who I was anymore after a year of sitting on My backside, getting temporarily fat, absorbing money and copious amounts of cake. Why do offices have so much cake?! I am now a sugar addict! Maybe I always was. 😂 Thankfully I dropped that extra fat quickly once I left the corporate office environment.
So now a few months later I have awoken from this fog and found Myself again. It was quite the epiphany! It takes a bit of hard reality to show you that you can’t drift in the real world. Real life doesn’t let you sit on your backside and drift. The drifting has a cost to your emotional and mental well being. It’s the hard times that teach us to develop resilience and grit, we can then figure out who we really are! I’d much rather live in this world where life kicks Me in the ass and motivates Me to move forward, than the one I spent a year in last year.
So yeah! It may have appeared like I wasn’t interested in sessioning. I’ve shown very little public enthusiasm. I didn’t realise that I was in hiding mode after My last contract. I was still stuck in that lazy mindset. I’m not now! It just took a while to find Myself again.
I find this an interesting point when I meet new subs. It’s easy to get into a pattern with your old Mistress and then she retires. It’s terrifying to step into the unknown with a new one. It’s a leap of faith and I get that. On the other side of your discomfort is liberation. Whether it’s approaching a new Domme or taking pain during a session. It’s all the same. If we stay stagnant afraid to move forward, we will never grow. If we hide ourselves away afraid to be seen, we grow weak and sick. If we get comfortable then we become lazy. We are not meant to stay hidden and small. We are meant to grow and explore new things with new people. We are here to face challenges and grow from them.
I do not judge My subs new or old. In fact I celebrate their strength every time they come to session with Me. I actively encourage My subs to be pushed in all areas of life, not just in the dungeon.
This was an impromptu blog. I wanted to share with you My little epiphany today and hope it will motivate you to push yourself when you need to. Don’t let laziness and fear hold you back. Laziness and procrastination is just fear in disguise anyway.
I will be available for sessions throughout the next few months. Send Me an email Mistressmadox@gmail.com to discuss any session activities that you may like to try. I’m open minded and love to explore new things with My subs.
If you are worried about any Cvirus issues that are going on right now, I can assure you that I am least likely to get it. I am avoiding the public. I have a strong dislike for large public gatherings of people and their germs. I’m also obsessed with hygiene. If anyone knows me from My private dungeon days you will know how hygiene conscious/germaphobic I am.
Heck let’s do the whole session wearing gas masks! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
See you all in the dungeon soon. 😈👋
Manchester Mistress Madox